Mai Tais in Monterey

     A good friend of mine had her birthday right before Thanksgiving. We celebrated it the following Friday at a wonderful little restaurant in Monterey called Hula's. Normally at 3:30 in the afternoon on a Friday, this Hawaiian-style restaurant and bar, which boasts a 2-6 happy hour, is fairly empty. But being Black Friday, and all, it was a zoo! Zignut, my friend, an alias, obviously, and I arrived to a full house, yet fate left us our favorite table by the window.    
      We warned the waitress we were gonna be here awhile. After all, $5 Mai Tais and Pupus are hard to pass up! The first few Mai Tais went pretty fast, then Zignut turned it up a notch. She was drinking doubles to my singles. Life began to get interesting.  Boom! Out came the camera and it was a media fest, posing with everything from the menu to the Tiki statues that were mistakenly not glued down. It was a narcissistic barrage of self portraiting at the expense of everyone in the restaurant! No one seemed to mind until a group of 12 little people walked into the crowded bar and Zignut declares, "I want a photo with the midgets!" I don't like SMS or Instant Messaging BS so I'll just say it, oh my fucking GOD! What the hell was that. One looked over and rolled his eyes in disgust as Zignut was saying, "What? They couldn't here me". I was waiting for them to yell, "Into formation!", and stack up on top of each other and punch Zignut in the face...that would have been tits up funny! Anyway, I slid her Mai Tai back in front of her to let her refuel and see what would happen next.
     Another barrage of self portraits with the camera getting every angle of Zignut it could from her outstretched arm. To my right, a new couple had sat down. They had a cute 6-8month old little girl. Zignut began dropping F bombs like a recovering coke addict drops chocolate-covered coffee beans.  I attempted to quell the overflow only to be told, "That fucking baby can't understand a fucking word I'm saying." True. But she does have her parents and her grandparents there smiling uncomfortably as the were bombarded with expletives. She even got jealous of the attention I was giving the baby rather than her.
     Now, as I read back over this, I have painted a horrible picture of Zignut. Let me say this is one of the most wonderful people in the world. She is one of my oldest and best friends. But it was a night to remember. I sat there and watched this epic masterpiece unfold. We had a great time at everyone's expense.  I have to say, though, I was ready to get out of there. It was only 6:30pm when we left, but the leaving needed to happen!!!!! Rock'n'Roll!